I’ve been crying all weekend.
Took Boden to a weekend retreat with 150 other kids. Upon arrival, everyone was given a wristband with the name of someone to pray for. I didn’t grab one, thinking it was for the kids. On the second day, Christopher Carzo came up to me and told me to grab one, which I did. Shortly after, as the worship band started up, I cleared my mind to lift this young girl to the throneroom of God, a place I know I am welcome to bring my requests, but where I often want to be silent and listen.
Right away, I heard God say to me, “Look up the meaning of her name.” When I did, I saw her name has the same meaning as one of my own sons. In a flash, God showed me where my years of prayers for my own son were applicable to this young girl. I wrote down my thoughts, they were specific. Amazed, I shared what had happened with Austin H. Medley who was sitting next to me. Right away, he said, you have to go give that to her, which I did.
I’m hesitant to say to anyone, "This is from God" when I relay these kinds of things, so I handed it to her, told her I had prayed, and encouraged her to process it in her own prayer, and with her parents. I later learned that this young girl, as she read what I had written, was amazed that I could know so much about her. When God moves in a life, when he speaks, it sinks deep into our souls and becomes more real than anything we have ever known. Jesus did this many times with people, its how he got their attention. And so I trust He will do with that message what He needs to do, maybe now, maybe years from now.
After this, I was on fire, desiring to lift others into the throne room. A group of boys was in front of me that had been in my class last year. I walked up to them to pray, and I encouraged them to consider Jesus at the right side of the Father, hearing their prayers, collecting them in golden bowls, perfecting their prayers before God. I described the scene that is unfolding there, the kings laying down their golden crowns, the lightning and thunder, the beasts, the hundred million angels appearing as a sea of glass and singing a holy chorus.
One kid asked me, "How do you know this?" I told him that it's in the Bible and he walked away. One boy then asked me to lift him to the throne room, which I did, and again, I quickly received a vision for him. Again and again, maybe 5-10 people in a row. Specific visions, quickly confirmed by the person or in Scriptures. One kid, I saw his sister and his Mom (didn't even know if he had a sister or Mom), and how he should love them and be sweet to them. Another, I saw a big wall in his life, where he was trying to use a ladder to get over it, but where he needed to call for help from Heavenly angels. Another girl, I saw her family history, her current family, and even her future and the reason why she is wired the way she is, and was blown away as God showed me in Scripture a verse to back it all up with such precision you just cannot make this stuff up.
Just then, the boy who had walked away came back with a friend, clearly excited. He said, “Mr. Derfler, you’ll never believe what happened!” He described how he went to look up the verses about the throne room and just as he discovered it, the singer, the talented Emily Ditzel began singing the exact words, word for word. It sent chills up his spine. This is no coincidence, I told him, and encouraged him to raise his hands and acknowledge a holy God who wants to get his attention. The boys lifted their hands to worship, clearly in awe. As he did, I whispered that because he has heard hundreds of sermons, thousands of worship songs, it can begin to sound like noise, it can lose its meaning. But now God is showing you how powerful his word can be. At this, he began weeping. His friend stood their worshipping for a long time, I learned later he has not worshipped like this before. This went on most of the night. It is like riding on a magical current where anything is possible and time loses its effect and breakthroughs occur that were either unknown issues or seemingly impossible to overcome.
The next day, the kids were invited to share with the group what they were thinking or what they had learned over the weekend. I heard a girl talk about how her mom died the year before; she was probably in seventh grade, and the pain was crippling for her. But the weekend exposed to her how the enemy was lying to her, bringing her to a greater despair, but how it was all exposed and a heavy burden had been lifted. A life changed.
Multiple children, it must have been half a dozen, talked about how in the recent past their friend or even their best friend had killed themself or cut themself. They couldn’t escape the thought that maybe if they had done something different, prayed more, loved better, they could have helped. A tremendous burden for a middle or high schooler. All of it was lifted this weekend! Lives changed.
Another girl talked about how at her school, a public school, as her friends discovered she is a Christian, they stopped talking to her. How one boy had even said to her in the past week that she is unlovable, bringing her great grief. At once, all 150 of us, at the direction of pastor John Reilly, shouted to her, “You are loved!” and she was wrapped in many arms.
John also shared a story about a young boy he was working with who was what I would call a buzzsaw, a fighter, with a rough past. In fact, the boy had tried to fight John to the point that the police were involved. But John saw past the rough exterior and continued to pour into him. Then one day, the boy shared something with John that he has never forgotten. With young people, leaders often talk about inviting the Holy Spirit into their lives, as if there is something missing. But the boy came up to John and said, I think that instead we need to pray to let the Holy Spirit out.
Let Him out! This is the battle cry now. For those of us who know Jesus, who are well acquainted with the throne room, not just the words of Jesus but the great love and comfort of the King of Kings, who calls us his own, who makes us an heir, this is no cause for concern. We run into the fire, we expose the lies of the enemy, and we run the race set out before us, no matter the cost. We must recognize that just because a kid has not raised his hand or come forward or been baptized, he can walk in the power of the holy spirit. God doesn not give us neat formulas. We are heavy on "pouring into" with lessons and sermons and songs, and light on role playing, apprenticeship, letting kids begin to swing a sword (which they inherently want to do!).
Meanwhile, children are being overlooked and eaten alive. Suicide rates are climbing (62% increase! from 2007-2021 according to Yale). Self-harm is off the charts. Inside the church and outside. Division is rampant. Existential crisis abounds. Kids are being force-fed pornography, rewiring their brains and ruining their ideals of relationships and the joy of intimacy. Futures are less certain than ever before. This is true for everyone, not just Christians.
If this is all new to you, today is a new day, and I assure you, Jesus is not as complicated as church people make him out to be. His words are simple. Don’t get tripped up by the men who proclaim to speak on his behalf, go to the source yourself. Open the Bible, you will find a friend. Start a conversation with him, seek him, when you do with the same desire that you chase after money or leisure or whatever else commands your attention, I assure you, you will find him. And your life will begin to finally be lived with a realness that has eluded you. Love will well up in you, love for yourself and love for your neighbor, even neighbors you once saw as your enemy. And especially for young people, who are not your enemy, but who get a free pass to sit in the lap of the Lord Jesus!
Those who heed these words will rescue many from the pit of despair, from certain death, lives will be saved.
