As told by my 2 and 4 year old sons.
My Concern w/ the Vanity of Christian Bloggers, Pastors, Spokespeople, aka Myself
When I felt God nudging me to share stories about what He was doing in my life, I thought, "does the world really need another Christian blogger?"
God changed my heart to realize that, yes, it does; in fact, there should be many more. However, something about the rise of Christians stepping out with an online presence has troubled me.
And it looks like this: blog posts, email newsletters, and special alerts that, for the most part, bear the picture of the person doing the writing.
Like, what you see is primarily pictures of them.
This happens a lot, and, over time I wonder how the person can both do this and keep the emphasis more on the Creator than the created, and not grow a (sometimes unconscious) sense of pride.
Surely it's a fine line--one I've danced close to myself. 11 out of 30 posts on my homepage right now bear my face as the thumbnail image. And more than one Silicon Valley tech tycoon has remarked that our social networking is powerfully driven by deadly sins.
Here are 5 ways I keep the story more about about God, and less about me:
- I look at post history, is it a lot of pictures of me, or other stuff too? Point blank, I don't think it should always be me, not even 50% of the time, so I go out of my way to find other images.
- I ask someone who will be honest with me. Usually its my wife, Whitney, or another guy in my life I pick for their brutal honesty. I ask if what I'm posting is done in the right spirit.
- I consider the tone of the message. In 2 Corinthians 12:9 the Apostle Paul wrote that he boasts in his weakness, because when he is weak, Christ is strong. Am I writing about how great I am, or God? I try to do only the latter.
- I do a Strategy Check. Is my online approach centered more on what the world says is necessary to be effective, or what I'm hearing from God in the Word and in prayer?
- I pray. Often before a post that feels more "out there" for one reason or another, I'll pray and sometimes fast for a few days (or even months) before posting it. God has a way of using the Holy Spirit to self-correct.
In closing, what's been very telling to me is that, consistently over the past few years, the posts that get the most interest and have the greatest spiritual fruits, by far, are those where I'm either making a fool of myself for Christ, or where I'm focused completely on someone or something other than me.
The Best Gift You Can Get A Married Couple
Over the past three months my parents and parents-in-law gave Whitney and I an amazing gift. Several mentors have advised me to do this to keep my marriage healthy, so I have to share.
Whit & I at a B&B, a gift from my parents. Dec. 2017
Each time, our parents watched our kids and gave us two nights away. One night is great, but two nights lets you sleep in twice in a row, and somehow enables a quick recharge that lasts for weeks.
Drop the kids off Friday afternoon, head home or to a B&B, then pick them up Sunday afternoon.
Twice we used the weekend to clean the house and prep for baby #3. We worked 10 hour days each Saturday and its amazing how much we got done without the kids around.
Another time we simply checked into a B&B and watched movies, had a big breakfast, did a little shopping without being rushed, took naps, watched movies. It was glorious, and gave us a chance to talk about all kinds of things and we felt like we were dating again.
So my advice is this, find someone who can do this for you.
- If you have grandparents or other family nearby, approach them about it.
- If you are a grandparent, aunt / uncle, or other friend or relative, consider giving this as a gift. I've even made one you can print out below!
- If you don't have family nearby, think through who in your church or neighborhood might be able to do this for you, and bring it up, maybe consider doing a swap for them to do it as well.
- If you don't have anyone you trust with your kids or that you an ask, get intentional about building a relationship with some family in your life to get there within the next 6-12 months.
- BONUS: If you want to really bless a couple that needs refreshment, and have the money to do it, consider throwing in a B&B stay like my parents did as a gift to us, which is an incredible gift.
Marriage Time Away Gift Certificate (click to view and print or order professional print)
#metoo - Here is how we combat sexual harassment
Let me join the chorus of those who've been harassed.
The owner of a fine dining restaurant, and my boss, would often get drunk and grab at me from all angles. She'd say vulgar things to me and the rest of the crew.
When I bartended in Key West more than a few times I'd have wealthy gay men come in and proposition me or otherwise put me in an uncomfortable environment.
Another time a married woman gave me her room key and kissed my neck as she walked away.
As a part-time model and actor, I've often had extra sensitivity to my environment to ensure I don't get caught in a bad situation by someone with ill intent. Fortunately, my agents do a good job screening out shady people, and I've never been abused like some of the stories we're reading about in the news now.
Why do I share this now? What's my point? It's this...why is anyone surprised?
I thought everyone knew Hollywood was full of aggressive sexual behavior and abuse? I mean, even if ya don't know the industry gossip, just look at the product they're creating.
I thought everyone knew that as a society we have been fighting for our freedom to express ourselves sexually, even at the expense of what others see as morally right and wrong?
I thought everyone knew that we flat out accept overt sexual references, derogatory language, and uncomfortable displays of nudity in the public sphere? Whitney and I can hardly find a sitcom or live comedy show to attend anymore.
If we are foolish enough to think that throwing out modesty and traditional marriage as a society has nothing to do with the abuse we're seeing, then we're in for a very difficult shock to reality in the years ahead.
This behavior is not going to get better, it will get worse, and our country needs Jesus and God's plan for sex more now than ever.
“Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.”
Make A Thankful Tree
My wife Whitney is amazing at celebrating the various seasons of life. She wakes up early to set up a grand entrance for birthdays. Loves fawning over new babies and sending little gifts. With each new holiday approaching, she get's our family into the spirit by playing good music, making festive snacks, and decorating the house.
I love this about her, the kids do too.
One activity she planned for us the past few years is the Thankful Tree. And while we do it in November around Thanksgiving, it could work anytime.
It goes like this:
- Get a Mason jar
- Fill it with sticks
- Cut out little paper leaves and string pieces
- Every night, write down what everyone is thankful for.
- Attach leaves to the branches.
Slowly the tree fills up with all kinds of reminders of how much good there is in life.
And I have to tell you, with toddlers in the house, we have a lot of fun and laughs at what we hang on the tree. For example, Lukas gave thanks for his brother for a week straight, as well as dog slobber. Boden has been thankful for things that have put a tear in our eye.
If you want to celebrate what's good and true and noble, bring the Thankful Tree into your house!
“whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”
6 Essentials to Get Church Community in Your Life
Look at the Porn on Mainstream Media Now [warning: graphic]
As a Christian man, I subscribe to the whole "to look at a woman lustfully is adultery." (Matthew 5:28) It's a high bar, impossible really, but we believe that with Jesus all things are possible (Matthew 19:26).
Thankfully, Jesus promised the Holy Spirit, a "helper" (John 14:15-18) who helps us to take these thoughts captive. It's regular warfare.
All that being said, I am continually shocked at the warfare being waged against our eyes now on a regular basis.
Not sure what I mean, here are a few screenshots from mainstream news and social media sites:
How did we get to this place where was what porn just a couple decades ago is now accepted out in the open?
Look, I get it, some people don't think this is any harm, they're all for it, and dive right in. But I still believe that most people don't think this is best, and don't want to see it.
News flash!!!
This porn everywhere, it's like land mines.
Guys are getting sucked in and blown up over this stuff, their relationships, their marriages are suffering for it.
Women, why are you shocked that men think they can grab you by the pu**y when this is what we accept everyday?
Kids are seeing this from childhood, their perception of women and sex is perverted by it.
This is vitally serious. Does anybody care?
900% Increase in Church Welcome Results
Last week I had lunch with a brother in Christ and elder in my local church. He's the kind of guy who literally puts his phone number out there for anyone to call him. And many guys do, about one per week on average.
Many of these guys say they want to get connected in the church in some way. In the past, this brother would send an email listing out the various groups guys could join, figuring that based on time and location, they'd select the best fit.
The response rate on this old way of outreach was 1 guy out of 10 would respond to the email.
After a recent conversation where we talked about how striking it was for me in California when a guy reached out to buy me coffee and just get to know me, this brother decided to try a new tactic.
Now he emails guys with a simple request to get coffee and get to know them so he can help guys figure out where to connect.
The response rate on this new approach is 9 out of 10 guys respond to the email.
That's a 900% increase in response rate in under 60 days!!!
So what can we take away from this?
- People like to connect with people, not programs and groups.
- We need people willing to put their name and number out there.
- This takes time and commitment, this elder has had 10, maybe 20 coffee appointments over a couple months, which he just counts as the cost of making disciples.
7 Steps to Beat Lust
Is this a guaranteed formula? No such thing exists in the Kingdom of God.
However, these are sound principles that encourage immersion in Scripture, prayer, and fellowship. These actions give God the space to change your heart and enable you to overcome the sin of lust.
Many times this has worked for me in my own battle!
Beware: Relationships Are Dying
We Prayed for A Car, This Is Unheard Of (2 min)
In 2013 our 1st son was due in September, and our little 2-door Scion didn't feel like the best family car.
Whitney and I prayed that God would show us the right car to buy, help us with a good deal, and find something that wouldn't give us issues.
Then we visited dealerships, but didn't get a good vibe, or we'd find one we liked only to call and it was already gone.
Here's the list of cars I had been tracking on our spreadsheet (click photo to enlarge):
With the baby due date just a month away, and no car in our driveway, we started to pray more.
Finally, every car on our list was gone, except one.
On the far right of the spreadsheet is the car that felt least likely to work out since it was far away, and despite being deeply discounted past our budget due to shipping costs.
Whitney and I agreed to take a shot, so I sent over the offer and the dealership actually countered with a lower offer. I've asked a lot of people if they've ever heard of this happening when buying a used car, nobody has.
Long story short, we bought the car, had it shipped to us right within our total budget, and found the car better than advertised. Our Subaru Forester has been phenomenal and we are sad to see it go now that we have a third child on the way and need more room.
You can be assured we're praying God guides the process again!
God Gave Me A Riddle
2 Flights, 2 Unexpected Jesus Encounters
Divine Appointments in NY
This had me joyful and really laughing about the chances of these two meetings in the past 24 hours, has to be one in a couple hundred million odds of this happening.
God hooks me up for a trip
How to Easily Bless Your Family via Text Message
Profound Teaching on God's Kingdom by My 4 Year Old
God Told Me To Sing...So Here Goes...
Update, just a couple weeks later and my singing this around the house has been picked up by the kids who now sing it themselves...
Why I Need Someone to Punch Me in the Face
“Let a righteous man strike me—it is a kindness; let him rebuke me—it is oil for my head; let my head not refuse it. ”
And if you want scientific evidence that this is essential for you, watch this sermon by my pastor, Paul Anderson, where he uses the Milgram experiment to make the case.
Avoiding Racism Starts on the Playground
You are racist, it's true. So are your kids, I see them at the park!
We all pretend like we don't have this evil in us, don't have the potential to exclude, to hate, to be violent. But we do.
I see clearly that my kids and your kids, as early as 2 years old, they are on the playground delighting in the fact that they can exclude others, despite how it makes them feel.
This Christian faith that I subscribe to holds the Apostle Paul, a racist serial killer, as a hero...because he fell off his high horse, met Jesus, and became one of the greatest advocates for justice and mercy to ever live. Like Paul, we need a savior for our own hearts and the heart of our country to change.
Let's pray for mercy and ask God to forgive those who have no idea what they are doing and are blinded with hate and focused on the wrong enemy. If God can change a racist serial killers heart to spend the rest of his life loving people I think anything is possible. (thanks for lots of this post Steve Soars).