Adventures in Faith

My Jewelry is All About My Wife

Ryan Derfler ·

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I met this morning with a guy who, despite only sitting in-person with him 2 or 3 times, he is very dear to me, or as we Christians say, he's my brother in Christ (Matthew 12:48-50). And the cool thing about the body of Christ is that God gives spiritual gifts (1 Corinthians 12), and this particular brother, he has the gift of prophecy. This means that He get's "words" from God, and here's what he said to me this morning, as we chatted at Harvard Business School...

It went like this, after chatting for 45 minutes, I asked him if he had anything I should write down, meaning, is God giving you anything for me?

He said that he was given a picture of the meaning of my ring as symbolic of the bond that Whitney and I have together, which is very strong, and has God at the center. He asked me if that had any resonance with the wedding ring that I wear. 

I told him that, yes, I had selected this design for a very strong exterior (tungsten) with a beautiful interior (rose gold). 

But even further, I told him, shortly after I met Whitney, while we were still dating, I had a piece of jewelry designed to represent our union. The charm melted down a lot of my old jewelry, representing a new beginning, and the gold was formed into the letter "W" for Whitney and "R" for Ryan interwoven, with a diamond at the center, representing Jesus.

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And finally, I added, over just the past week, I've been thinking "in the back of my thoughts," really in my soul, about what it would be like to love Whitney more fully. To hear her, love her for who she is, devote myself more fully just to her and to knowing her. Nobody knew about this conversation, and here was this brother with this word from God encouraging me forward in the strength of this union.

This was a fun start to my day in Boston, and another example of how fellowship with believers brings about a "different world" that is encouraging as it shapes in truth and molds one into the image of Christ.

Adventures in Faith

A Word for Those in College Facing Temptation

Ryan Derfler ·

Galatians Chapter 5

13 You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. 14 For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” 15 If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.

16 So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. 17 For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.

19 The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery;20 idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21 and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.

Adventures in Faith

So You're Hunting for Your Next Opportunity...Here's My Advice

Ryan Derfler ·

Lots of times people reach out to me wanting advice or help getting to their next opportunity, usually for work. I then ask them to respond to the following:

1. If you are a Christian, what is God telling you? How is that being confirmed in prayer and in your Scripture reading?

2. What are your advisers / wise counsel / your spouse / the people you trust / saying to you?

3. Have you enlisted a few people close to you to pray for this transition? When I've gone through these transitions, I have cried out as the Psalmist:

“Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us, and establish the work of our hands upon us; yes, establish the work of our hands!”
— Moses in Psalm 90:17 (ESV)

4. What are the top 3 companies you'd like to work for?  

I'm a big fan of aiming for what you want vs what's available. In my experience, what's listed publicly and what's available are often different, and smart companies do what they can to get the right people on the bus.

5. Do you have any restrictions around where you're willing to move, or what seniority level you're after?

6. Is there anyone in my network in particular where an introduction would help? If so, I'll consider how well I know them and if an intro is appropriate.

These details will help me help you! So if you want my help, please let me know your response to these as the best step forward. 

And many blessings in your search, may God grow your faith through it.

Ryan

Adventures in Faith

Could You Really Love A Refugee As Your Neighbor?

Ryan Derfler ·

A good friend of mine was a refugee. 

Whitney and I intentionally made friends with our neighbors in San Jose that were Iranian refugees.  

My church is right now discussing how to adopt a refugee family. 

All of that being said, I'm not so sure most people talking about refugees right now know much about receiving a refugee in this country, here's why... 

People Getting It Done

Jack McCall is One Transparent #handsonchristian

Ryan Derfler ·

I've known Jack for four years, God has endeared him to me for so many reasons.

Chief among them is the fact that Jack is action-oriented in his faith. He tunes in to what the Holy Spirit is doing so he can hear God prompting him (John 10:27).

As a result, he does wild things like empty his wallet on people (including my wife once, read about it here), and he regularly prayers for people on the spot even complete strangers (read one story I was a part of here).

“I’ve seen first-hand how God has incredibly blessed people to tears through Jack’s quick prayers.”

Jack is also wildly transparent which is rare and has a way of disarming others and empowering them to open up about themselves.

Finally, Jack is one of the most joyful guys I know!

So check out our video chat from today, and know that this is a #handsonchristian, it was a treat to see him and listen to him, and I encourage you to sign up to receive his weekly email, it's one of the few I always read. 

For more about Jack and my history together linked up as brothers in Christ, click here. 

Adventures in Faith

I'm A Toddler Spiritually

Ryan Derfler ·

Came to realize, as I have been instructing my two sons (age 3 and 19 months) that spiritually I'm a toddler.

I documented this humbling lesson in sanctification online here:

As I've reflected on the truths in this lesson, and the way forward, I realized how rich it is, and found myself thanking God for my children, and recognizing some ways he might be calling me to grow up.

A few that came up quickly as I discussed this with my wife include:

-I need to not be so grumpy when I'm tired, this is self-discipline

-I need to be more careful with my words

-I need to listen to what God is telling me to do, and just do it! For example, God told me BEFORE Boden was born, 3 years ago, to learn songs to sing to him, and I still know only songs like "Jesus Loves Me." Again, toddler status.

-I need to wake up and not just start running around, but need to spend time before God.

-I need to know God's rules and mandates and meditate on them to have any hope of obeying them.

 

This is a work in progress, more to come, hopefully graduating to a pre-schooler in the next months and years!

Adventures in Faith

My Godly Wife

Ryan Derfler ·

So the other day my wife shows me a post she put on Instagram, and as I looked through her posts, I realize that she's putting all these wonderful little nuggets of her faith online too. 

I mean, I know that these things happen in her life all the time, but to see how she documents it, life through her eyes, well, let's just say I'm one proud husband.

And the best part, look who get's the glory!

Adventures in Faith

Whitney's 1st Post: Simple Prayer in the Grocery Store

Ryan Derfler ·

Adventures in Faith

The Oft Overlooked Weapon of Strategic Prayer

Ryan Derfler ·

Got this email from my former colleague and still dear brother in Christ (and mentor, though he doesn't know it) Harry Brown. 

Anyway, when I received this I forwarded it on to a list of guys that love to pray with a great response and so I felt like this was too good not to share with the wider audience.

Be blessed in your binding and drawing! 

Adventures in Faith

Wow, I Just Changed 3 Marriages?

Ryan Derfler ·

On a recent business trip, I reached out to a friend on a whim. I don't always visit him when I'm in his town, but I had a sense that on this particular trip, I needed to do so, but didn't know why. 

Anyway, he was available and so we met up and had a really rich conversation. I ended up feeling like I had some really specific things to share with him. Neither of us expected to have the kind of conversation that we had, but we both left feeling really uplifted by it. I was glad I followed "my gut" to reach out to him.

A few months went by and I didn't think about our time together, and then I got this email from him...

Bro -

Unbeknownst to you, one of the things I took from our last conversation while together was that I need to be praying with my wife like you are doing with Whit.

Since the morning after our meeting I’ve been waking up early and praying with her every morning and it has made a huge difference in our relationship….I mean huge.  

Throughout this time, two guys in my men’s breakfast group expressed issues and I told them about what you did for me through this suggestion.  They both have begun to do this and report significant improvements in their marriages.

You’ve had an impact on three families and thought you should know.  

Hope you’re well.

Now, to be clear, this is nothing special about me at all, it's God, and here's what I mean:

1. That sense I had to visit my friend, God puts those ideas in people's minds, it happens to me numerous times each week, both on the giving and receiving end. It's a normal part of walking with Jesus and having his Holy Spirit active in your life. 

2. The things I said to my friend were very simply from my experience praying and applying Scripture to my own life. So in a sense, I just shared Scripture with him that had come to life in the world in a way that resonated with him and drove him to action.

3. If you knew the backstory on how I met this friend, and the details of our relationship, it is so clearly wild that we even know each other. There is simply no other reason that God has connected us for exactly these kinds of exchanges. 

“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”
— Proverbs 27:17

Adventures in Faith

The Body of Christ = Prayer Coverage

Ryan Derfler ·

Got a call last night from a dear brother in Christ, he's a pastor in Connecticut, among other things. Anyway, I listened to his voicemail this morning, it was him praying for me and for my family for three minutes and it changed my whole day, maybe more.

As I listened to it, my spirit leaped--what he was saying was not him just saying stuff, it wasn't a normal prayer, it stirred something inside me deeply, it changed my day.

And this particular brother has a habit of doing this. I literally have received so many calls from him (and humorously 9 out of 10 go to voicemail) that it quickly ate up all my voicemail space. These voicemails are such a treasure that I opened a Dropbox storage account just to save them.

By the way, often his voicemails go beyond the three minute limit per message for 2, 3, even 10 messages in a row. He's someone who is praying in the Holy Spirit, he's sharing real truth, and that's why these gems are so valuable to me that I save them and go back and listen to them.

I have dozens of messages like this, not just from this one brother, but others too. Am I sharing this because I'm special and want to rub it in your face? Not at all.

I'm sharing this because I believe this is supposed to be the common experience for the Christian living in fellowship of the church body. And just going to church doesn't guarantee you this experience. In fact, I'm just coming off a year when Whitney and I were searching for a church where, in some ways, these kinds of calls from brothers was a big part of what church meant to me. 

The reality is that these calls, the timing, the words that are spoken, knowing that God is putting you on the mind of someone else at just the right time, they become deeply touching evidence about how real and good God really is.

So what do you do if this isn't happening for you? Here's what I propose:

1. Hang around other people who want to pray. Maybe the're at your church, a Bible study, it could be anywhere. Listen for clues that they might be praying and offer to join them. You'll find that many churches have prayer as part of their regular routine.

2. Don't be discouraged if/when you don't start getting calls from people praying for you. The sad reality is that most people are overcommitted and don't actually pray for themselves, let alone other people. 

3. Start to pray for other people that are around you. And pray that God would put people in your life to pray for you.

4. Keep your eyes and ears open. Sometimes God sends us people but they don't look like what we'd expect and we miss it. Look for opportunities to connect with people who want to give and receive prayer.

5. Ask for prayer. Humble yourself enough to share details about what's going on in your life, be vulnerable and ask for prayer. 

As you put yourself out there, and forge new and deeper relationships, undoubtedly over time, God is going to start putting people around you that are praying for you, and God is going to use those people to show you how incredible he is, and its going to change your life. 

“Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.”
— James 1:6
“Praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints.”
— Ephesians 6:18