I sinned again recently, willingly even.
As I processed how, yet again, I fell short of God's plan for my life, something strange happened, I started to thank God for my sin.
Why would I do that???
Because this time I am reminded how weak I am against sin.
And as I grieved the sin I became desperate for forgiveness. Pleaded to God even.
As I felt God's love again I was astonished that he forgave me so quickly.
My mind is blown as I consider that I am fully reconciled to God in all His holiness over and over again because of one man, Jesus.
Going through this has made me more aware of my depravity. It reminds me that nobody is holy before God, nobody is good. Not your pastor, not your Mom, not your favorite Christian blogger.
I'm more inclined to look around at "sinful people," the sexual perverts, thieves and murderers, liars and cheats, and realize that I'm one of them.
As a beggar myself I'm less likely to try to tell them how to make something for themselves, and more likely to just point to the one who gives daily bread.
As I stand in awe of the life of Jesus and the holiness of God, the fear that accepting my sin condition will make me calloused to sin is fading away. The pressure to perform to please God easing up.
I also have this growing sense that the more I stand in awe of God, worship, and fall in love, the less likely I am to sin as a secondary effect.
If it took sin to remind me of my condition, humble me, put me in my place before God, increase my reverence for Him, and out of that see greater obedience and shedding of sin in my life, well then, thank you Jesus for my sin.
p.s. I've been having this image in my head the last couple days about the chasm between God and the rest of us, so much so I decided to draw it up for y'all.